Writing

I could write about how dancing in SF was like a breath of fresh air. I could write about how, when visiting a new place, knowing one good dancer can unlock an evening of excellent dances. I could write about how arm-pumping enthusiasm is tolerable but annoying, and how tango seems to be made for smoothness. I could write about how arrogance can make almost any dance intolerable.

But you know all of that already, don't you?

Nowadays, I feel like I've hit that point where I don't need to write it all out. I have learned that the people who need to hear it aren't listening. That the people who are listening already get it. And that I have so many other things to do with my time.

I am a breath away from launching my freelance translation career. It is exciting and scary and wonderful. I am dancing less, for now... But dancing better, and understanding more. And I am seeing how precious even my non-dancing time can be. Life can't always be translated into words. (Not that it will stop me from trying; it just doesn't make sense to try right now.)

SF Trip

When we heard about the Ben Bogart Music Week in SF, we decided the only reasonable thing to do would be to use that as our impetus to make a visit. I haven't been to the bay area since I started dancing tango, so it will be a treat for me.

It looks like we're going to make next Saturday our SF tango day. (The other days of our visit will be full of *gasp* non-tango activities.) So if you're in SF and planning to attend the Musicality for Dancers workshops on Saturday, or you'll be at the all-nighter that night, let me know! I would love to meet you.

I am looking forward to tangoing elsewhere. I love my community, but I need to get out and get some fresh air. And I love the bay area, so that should be lovely ... watch out, I may hide out there and not come back ...

The Connection

For me, it is magical when a leader doesn't use his arms.

Of course, this is silly—a leader always uses his arms somewhat, if for nothing else than warmly embracing his partner. I highly approve of this. But you all know what I mean when I talk about leaders who dance with their arms: the leaders who steer, who grip, who crush, who can't seem to get a follower to do anything without guiding her there with their arms. When a leader dances without doing these things, it creates magic.

I dance regularly with a couple of leaders who are magical in this way. They have an incredibly strong torso presence. While dancing with them, I feel myself focus entirely on my sternum. (This also leads me to be strong in return--finding that one point of contact and strengthening the rest of my core to support it, to focus my internal eye on that spot.) It is so hard to describe that feeling, but it is intense.

These leaders can remove their arms and still guide me flawlessly. Their lead is incredibly clear. Their arms become support—a hug, an expression, a tiny guide. I found that I can do the same with them if I really focus on moving my arms from my lats and letting the rest of my arm relax in a hug. I feel their musical ear transmitted to me through that one, core point of connection, and suddenly it is all about moving together musically.

It is funny, because these two leaders think that they have very different style. And they do, in a way. They dance very differently. But at the core, they are so much the same. That presence is amazing. When I go from a tanda with one of them to a tanda with anyone else, I feel the loss. It is one of the very best things that I can find in a leader. It is, for me, the source of a real connection.

Yoga & Self-Care

I am feeling a bit down today, so I have decided to take the rest of the day to reconnect with my body and my presence in the world. I took an amazing Vinyasa yoga class this morning, right before work. The teacher is calm, and encouraging, and just so, so supportive of me as a person. She is one of those people who doesn't need to know your life history to sincerely care for you.

Taking an hour for myself, to shut out the rest of my world and my thoughts, is something that I don't do often enough. I get caught up in work and plans and people and ideas and forget to just be. I guess that's why I like tango, although there is so much related to socializing and relationships and technique and ideas there ... more and more, the further I get into it (even as the dancing itself becomes more and more centered and present). But yoga ... for me, yoga is its own animal. It is so internal, so focused on the moment, the breath. Not so many distractions.

Thankfully, even though my day is stressful and upsetting, I have every sore muscle from this morning to remind me to be present. To be kind to myself. To remember that, no matter what happens and what other people do and say, I am here. I am me. And that will persist (even as a trick of the ego, even as I change and the old me passes away), despite changes in my circumstances and other people and jobs and cities. So I need to nurture my presence in the moment, because it is the only thing that I have.

Tonight, I plan to go home from work and take a nap. Take care of my body. I might envelop myself in a cocoon of blankets, tea, books, and a fuzzy, purring cat. Or I might watch a movie. Or practice walking in my living room. If I can, I might convince my favorite leader to practice with me. I don't know if I will go to the mid-week milonga—my mental state right now says no, but that may not persist all the way to this evening. We will see.

Music and Choosing a Partner

"That's why I always look for her when D'Agostino comes on!"

I was just watching the beautiful video that Sally posted of her and Carlos dancing together. (Sally, it is so lovely! Congratulations!) I noticed that the first dance is to D'Agostino, which reminded me of the quotation above.

A friend of mine said that while talking with another leader. I can't remember what was said before or after that, but it stuck in my head. I don't always know what orchestra is playing, even though I know the music, and I hadn't even noticed that this friend always grabs me when D'Agostino comes on. But it's true! And we have tons of fun with it.

(At the first festival I went to, this friend and I were laughing and joking and having a ball. Someone even asked if we were related. But no, we just "get" each other. The little toe taps and torso wiggles that express the music just so.)

And that is why I like to wait until the music has started—to get a dance because all the elements have fallen into place. It is why I don't like to be the leader's second choice, the fall-back follower who will do, I suppose. I want a leader to hear the music and know that, for these three or four songs, the two of us together will make the best tanda ever.

(Also, Sally, thank you for that vals, as well. I have been feeling lately like vals just doesn't grab me like it used to. And then I watched your vals. Thank you for the reminder of how nice it can be!)

Life, with a side of tango.

My life has turned into a giant flurry of activity!

Last weekend I overcame a tiny splinter of glass that had lodged itself in my big toe. It was tiny but very painful! I grimaced while my favorite leader dug it out of my toe. He is my hero—I was able to dance at all the milongas over the weekend and even took a couple of the workshops. My new goal is to keep my heels down. all. the. time.

This weekend may be a bit quieter, because of the Denver festival. But that's ok. I got a huge translation job, so I will be working all weekend on that. I absolutely love what I am translating. I still can't believe I am making this happen. It isn't enough to quit my day job just yet, but that's ok—I saw the rehearsal for our company's upcoming performance, and the dancing is incredible! Our associate artistic director is making his choreographic debut with the company, and it is going to rock. So I don't mind sticking around for a while longer.

I love when things feel like they are just falling into place.

Less is more.

I just saw something interesting on Unclutterer.com. The full article she talks about is here. I think it helps explain a lot: why I have turned down more dances lately, why I haven't been writing here as much, why I didn't try to fill my time at home this weekend with a flurry of activity, and why I need to learn to wash the dishes right after making them dirty.

Erin (from Unclutterer) started with this:

There are many reasons why I have chosen to live an uncluttered life, and one of those reasons is that I’m lazy. If I need to do something I’m not super excited about doing, I want it to take the least amount of time possible and I want it to cause me little or no stress. I’ve created simple routines for things like cleaning and getting ready in the morning because I need to do these things but don’t want to waste mental energy on them.

An example of this is processing mail when I come home: I instantly shred, recycle, or respond to the mail right when I walk in the door. This routine usually takes me two to three minutes, and then I don’t think about the mail or see it again. I used to just collect it and place it on the dining room table, then I would have to touch it again to move it so that we could sit down to dinner, then I would see it after dinner and think about it again, and then I would have to deal with it after worrying about it some more. In the past, I would spend 15 to 20 minutes thinking about the mail each night. Being “lazy” and organized with my mail saves me quite a bit of time over the course of the year. That, and I never have to worry about paying bills late.

Then she posted the following, from the article that sparked her thoughts:

Do Less: The Ultimate Simple Productivity

It may seem paradoxical that Do Less can mean you’re more productive — and if you define “productive” as meaning “get more done” or “do more”, then no, Do Less won’t lead to that kind of productivity.

But if instead you define “productivity” as a means of making the most of your actions, of the time you spend working (or doing anything), of being as effective as possible, then Do Less is the best way to be productive.

Consider: I can work all day in a flurry of frenetic activity, only to get a little done, especially when it comes to lasting achievement. Or I can do just a couple things that take an hour, but those are key actions that will lead to real achievement. In the second example, you did less, but the time you spent counted for more.

Let’s take the example of a blogger: I can write a dozen posts that really say nothing, mean nothing, but take up my entire day … or I can write one post that affects thousands of people, that really reaches to the heart of my readers’ lives, and takes me 1.5 hours to write. I did less, but made my words and time count for more.

If you’re lazy, as I often am, then the choice is simple. Do Less.

But do it smartly: Do Less, but make every action count. Send fewer emails, but make them important. Write fewer words, but make each word essential. Really consider the impact of every action you take, and see if you can eliminate some actions. See if you can achieve a great impact doing less.

This doesn’t mean “less is more”. It means “less is better”.

Less is more. Really. In our dancing, in our relationships with other dancers, in the amount of thought we put into the interactions and steps and everything that surrounds the tango scene ... and outside of tango, in the rest of our lives.