Why People Quit Tango

In case you hadn't seen, Clay in Portland has set up this survey for "Why I Quit Tango." You can set up filters for viewing the survey results, which I found very useful for looking at my local community. Ever wonder why some people drop out of your community? This offers at least a small collection of responses.

My own community had some unsurprising results: Critical or rude partners, too elitist, too cliquish, unbalanced ratio of leaders/followers, and too serious. I think this could describe pieces of any community, but it is a reminder that people have a lot of social reasons for staying in the community or leaving it. I find it hard to strike a balance between selfish enjoyment of my evening at a milonga and pushing myself (out of my introverted comfort zone as well as my desire for nice dances) to be welcoming and friendly to newcomers. Interestingly, the people from my community who responded to Clay's survey had been dancing for several years already—so it isn't just about noticing the new faces.

Anyway, food for thought.

P.S. I haven't had a lot of time lately for thinking about my blog. I managed to dance several nights in a row last weekend and take a fabulous private lesson, but the rest of my time was taken up with work, homework, and some freelance jobs! It is a good kind of busy, but wow has it made a difference in how I see my free time! I am off on Thursday for my vacation, where I plan to avoid my computer as much as possible. :) See you all on the other side.

New shoes!

Well, I ended up with new shoes—and they aren't like either of the pairs I described in my last post! That's what happens when someone with lovely taste and a generous heart brings numerous pairs of shoes (in the right size and heel height!) to sell at a milonga. In fact, I ended up not with one new pair, but with ... three. I justified it, however, by telling myself that I was buying those three pairs for the price of one pair of CIFs. And one of the pairs was in fact a pair of never-worn CIFs! So there we go.

I walked into the milonga wearing black pants and a cream-colored top, because I couldn't find the colorful top I had wanted to wear. But I think it was fate. Right there, on the table just inside the door, was a pair of black-and-cream Comme Il Fauts. I hesitated, because I wasn't going to buy shoes ... but that hesitation obviously didn't last long! My friend was only asking $20 for them, and I couldn't resist. I have always liked the look of this style, especially with the wraparound ankle strap. I ended up wearing these shoes for the rest of the night and loved them.


After walking into the milonga and greeting my friends, I was pulled back out into the entryway with the shoes. Two pairs of shoes had been set aside specifically for me to try on. They had three-inch heels and were, incidentally, bright and beautiful colors that I didn't yet own. This blue pair of Comme Il Fauts was fantastic. Up to now, I haven't owned a pair of shoes with a single ankle strap. They have been t-straps, or criss-crossed, or assymetrical. I have shied away from single straps across the ankle, because I point my feet a lot and always worry about whether the shoes will stay on my feet. This style, however, is just right—a single strap, but low on my arches so that it stays snug on my foot. The shoes feel supportive and look classy. I hesitated with these shoes because of the lack of blue in my wardrobe ... but my shoe enabler came to my rescue and reminded me that they make a nice accent to a plain black or otherwise subdued outfit.

Finally, the third pair. I really wasn't planning on these. Once again, thought, I found myself looking at a pair of brightly-colored shoes (I didn't have an all-red pair yet!) with three-inch heels. So hard to resist. I am more concerned about my foot sliding out of these, but after some testing I felt ok about them. And my favorite leader has promised to help me out with further tests! These are Neotango. Simple, clean lines. And goodness knows I have plenty of clothes to wear with these ones!

I can hardly believe I came home with three new pairs of shoes. I feel guilty, but I made a deal with myself: I won't feel guilty as long as I don't buy myself anything extraneous for several months. No new shoes, no clothes, nothing. I have plenty of other things I do need to get (a new contact lens prescription, a smog check for my car, a work computer), so I won't be tempted to throw away my money willy-nilly. I guess July is just my indulgent month.

Did I tell you about my vacation? The one starting next week? I give myself a real vacation twice a year, and soon I leave for a week of relaxation, swimming, and tango in a new place ... did I mention indulging myself this month?

I always come back to the shoes.

I have noticed a trend: When I haven't been out dancing in a while, I start daydreaming about shoes. Suddenly, the shoes become the most interesting part of dancing. (I am reminded of the blog post where Royce dissects a tango shoe. Take a look, if you haven't already.)

I know what pair I want next. I am wearing summery clothes a lot now, and I noticed that I don't have a good pair of shoes to go with my light-colored clothing. All of my shoes contain either black or dark brown. I would love a pair of white or tan shoes, preferably a sandal with a thick sling back and a three-inch heel. I am keeping an eye out for a pair like that.

I am also seriously considering a light purple pair. I wear enough purple to justify it, but I can't decide quite what I would want--just purple? Purple and black? Purple and brown? Purple and some other color? Again, I am just watching what shoes are coming up for sale and making note of anything that looks almost-right.

Good thing I haven't seen quite what I want, though. I have better things to save up for.

Meditative goosebumps

I got goosebumps today. From breathing.

Yogatoday.com has a free class up this week that focuses on relaxation. The class is taught by my favorite teacher on that website, and it worked so nicely to center me on my breathing. That is what yoga is for, even though some classes (*ahem*atthegym*ahem*) can make you forget that. It is one thing you get when you find a solid teacher.

So this evening I was practicing, and breathing, and I got goosebumps. I was in child's pose the first time, and I could feel my forehead tingling where it touched the floor. And I just connected, so nicely. Not to any partner—to myself.

I love myself some yoga.

Signs from the Universe

I do not think of myself as particularly superstitious or prone to believing in things like signs and omens, but this morning I had a funny moment: The universe gave me a nudge.

Just last night, I was thinking about how I need a new computer. My laptop keyboard is dying, and the whole system is slowing down (a lot). I was given the latest Dell catalog and pointed to the page where they are giving away a free netbook with the purchase of various other computers. I have thought about getting a desktop + netbook, so this was perfect. I did a little research and then set the catalog aside.

This morning, I opened my email to see my Note from the Universe: "Tell you what, I'm so thrilled we're in this together, one work computer coming right up!!"

I think it's a sign.

Height

We don't talk about height all that often. Shorter ladies tend to play around with higher and higher heels, while us tall women try to make do with our height ... and even search for lower and lower (but still attractive!) heels. That is my current quest.

On Friday, I had a long night without enough sitting and resting. One song into the final tanda, all I wanted to do was kick off my shoes and dance barefoot. So I did! And, lo and behold, it fixed several things that I have been noticing about my connection with my favorite leader. We are pretty much the same height, so when I put on 3" heels I begin to tower over him. Barefoot, it feels perfect. Except, of course, that I have no shoes on.

Last night, I brought my trusted pair of jazz shoes to start out the night. Black was not exactly the color of shoes I wanted to wear with my light-colored dress, so after that first tanda I switched into my regular heels. But that first tanda ... lovely.

So now I am on a quest to find a pair of shoes that are flat or with very small heels—but shoes that are still attractive and functional for dancing. It is more than a little bit difficult. Have any other tall tangueras found a solution for this? I really want to dance in something that keeps me shorter, to improve my connection with these shorter leaders who I adore dancing with ...

Beyond Tango: Iran

I know that my blog is set up primarily as a dance-related one, but I can't avoid writing about this any longer:



An overview of the dispute in Iran

An essay by an Iranian woman in exile about why she boycotted the election

An article about Obama's response